Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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