Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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