porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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