Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
