$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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