I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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