Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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