I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
