moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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