quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize