Taylor Swift is so right about you.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
