Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
