We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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