I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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