Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
