i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
