I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
