you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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