Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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