Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize