yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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