I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
