dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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