i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
