just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
