Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
