Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
