so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
