dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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