Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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