yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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