Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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