Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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