My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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