ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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