so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
