You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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