I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
