so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She needs sedatives and a leash
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize