Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
