So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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