Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
