Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
