eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
