i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
