Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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