i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
