she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
