I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
