I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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