i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize