two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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