I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
