Im at strip club and am horny
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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