I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
