Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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