just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
