Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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